And You Thought YOUR Parents Were Embarassing

I just got back from a lovely visit home for Thanksgiving. It was ultimate relaxation -- lounging on the couch watching football and dining on my favorite sugar cookies with the thick frosting. And trust me, I needed the relaxation after my arrival home was jump started by, perhaps, one of the most embarassing moments of my life. Yes, it's awkwardness rivaled those moments of being picked up by your parents at the mall when in middle school...

So my crush happened to be in STL at the same time and picked me up from the airport. We had a great conversation in the car -- mostly laughing at me traveling hungover and realizing that I packed my bag while completely wasted the night before. Regardless, I had a pair of NFL tickets to give him at my parents' house. So he comes inside with me and we're sitting around the kitchen table talking with my parents when somehow, cosmetic surgery comes up in conversation. And this is when things went horribly wrong --

Mom: (in a Filipino accent) Ohhhh, I hab bin watching Doctor 90210 and I just can't belieeeb how many young girls are getting breast augmentation!
Me: Uhhh, Mom, I don't think this is something you should be admitting to people publicly.
Crush: (laughing) Yeah, that show's kinda crazy.
Dad: (also in a Filipino accent) I'm working ober Christmas so she [looking at Mom affectionately] can get that liposuction she's bin wanting!
Mom: Ohhhhh Bert, not liposuction...a tummy tuck! I tink a tummy tuck eees better.
Mom/Dad: [start old married couple bickering]
Me: I DON'T THINK THIS IS SOMETHING TO BE DISCUSSING IN FRONT OF GUESTS.

Yeah, mortifying.

And to add to the drama, my mom gave me the "you just want to get married because all your friends are" lecture for the 14th time this year. I assured her that it was not peer pressure. And what I wanted to add but didn't was that it actually has nothing to do with my friends -- it has everything to do with 1) her and my dad introducing me to everyone as "the youngest one -- the unmarried one, that's why she came home for Thanksgiving" and 2) conversations with their friends usually begin with, "HI! So when's your big day?!"

I've been answering them with, "Not sure yet, still looking for the big guy."