Every Date Feels Like the Fourth Date

The pacing of my dating adventure with EP is under question. We don't really see each other during the week because we're both busy -- me with church meetings and night class and he with completing "deliverables" and preparing for internship interviews. So on the weekends, one would think that spending time together would be a big treat and that attention would be on spending some quality time together. Think again.

Guess who's at home on a Friday by 10:15? Oh yeah, that winner is me. Because after a hockey game and dinner, we're in the cab ride back -- with me innocently assuming that we'll probably spend the next few hours together just falling asleep in front of the tv, maybe even making out if I'm lucky. And instead, I get a gentle hand squeeze and, "I should really just get a good night's sleep tonight in my own bed tonight. I'm going home. I have a ton of reading to do tomorrow." Cue cabbie to pull over and EP exits vehicle. Are you $%@#%$@#% serious?!?!?!!?

Since we only see each other at times during the weekend, every time we get together -- it feels like we're stuck in the Fourth Date Twilight Zone. The Fourth Date is the date that's the sort-of-limbo zone where you know he is fun/nice/cool and you know enough details about his family, and you're pretty sure he's not on the Top 10 Most Wanted Fugitives list but you still need to spend time with them to figure out whether or not it's still worth pursuing. Those lingering questions are just fine -- when it really is the 4th date. But when you're already on your 12th date and still feel like you need more time to make a final decision, I think this could be problematic.

I think perhaps I am very sensitive to this time issue due to the fallout of my last relationship. When that relationship ended, I felt very let down because I had poured SOOOO much of myself into making the relationship work with very little return on my investment. So now I'm quite guarded when it comes to giving another relationship a fair shot because I don't want to lose any more than I already have.

And even worse -- I was so pissed when I got home that I checked his profile online (I know, I know, I said I wouldn't do it anymore, but i couldn't resist) and it had been active in the last 24 hours. Jerk.