No Really, I Need a Chaperone

...because I'm this [ ] close to needing a text messaging intervention. I've gotten in this horribly immature habit of sending a flurry of drunk text messages to Seattle crush when I'm out on the weekends. The thing is, he responds! AND...half the time HE's drunk too which makes the chat log very entertaining to read the next morning. (And I love how I'm trying to rationalize this habit by blaming him too -- I'm like one of my students getting in trouble and saying, "He did it first!") This drunk texting habit probably explains how I exceeded my text message limit of 300 messages on my last cell phone bill. So basically it'd be the chaperone's job to take my cell phone from me.

Also, as I mentioned in a previous post, the chaperone would also be responsible for making sure I eat a decent snack, remove my contacts, put on my jammies, and consume a ton of water prior to me passing out in my bed. The importance of these responsibilities cannot be understated. Por ejemplo (that's "for example" in Spanish), this morning at approximately 6:14 am, I opened my eyes to find me on top of my bedcovers, my light still on, an untouched glass of milk nearby, my cell phone near my hand, a half empty bag of organic honey graham bears on my desk, and a massive stomach ache. (note: much better than the time I went home drunk to my sister's apartment a few years ago and woke up half naked on her couch, using the dog's blanket, and my eyes swollen shut because I'm allergic to dogs --- yes, comical.) I must've passed out in the middle of sending someone a text message, for sure.

On a more serious note, is it problematic that Seattle Crush and I communicate exclusively by text message and email and never talk on the phone? I suppose I have other friends with whom I communicate just via email and being that nothing is officially going on between me and Seattle Crush, it's ok. At least that's what I'm telling myself.