Another Season of Anticipation

There are two "seasons of waiting" in the Christian calendar, Advent and Lent. (BTW, Happy Easter!) During Advents we await Jesus' birth and in Lent, we await Christ's resurrection. My pastor calls these times seasons of anticipation. (Oh yeah, let it be known that I successfully gave up the snooze button for Lent -- yes, brutal at times -- but doable.)

I think in dating there are also seasons of anticipation. By no means do I give these seasons the same spiritual weight as Advent and Lent, but I do think they deserve acknowledgment. Off the top of my head, I can think of 3 seasons of anticipation in dating...probably because I think I may be experiencing some of them concurrently. How that's possible, I'm not sure -- but here it goes:

The Season of Define the Relationship
Event You're Waiting For: The Define the Relationship Talk
Significance: The amount of time that elapses between the first date and this talk is volatile. According to Paige Parker, women are never supposed to initiate this conversation unless they're willing to accept the chance that the guy may turn around and run away. But once this talk has happened, you have a better idea as to whether or not it's acceptable for you to keep bumping/grinding on the dancefloor with strangers, handing out your phone number, or sending drunken text messages to old flames. I think I'm experiencing this season with EP.

The Season of Planned Reunion
Event You're Waiting For: an activity where you and your ex (or lifelong crush) BOTH know that the other will be attending the same event
Significance: You'll finally know what emotions you'll feel when you see him and can stop asking yourself, "What if I'm still attracted to him? What if I want to vomit all over my shoes? Will he be happy to see me?" With my Israel trip with Seattle Crush quickly approaching, I feel like this is what I'm experiencing.

The Season of First-New-Relationship-After-Major-Breakup
Event You're Waiting For: (or maybe NOT waiting for) The moment when you see your ex with his new tartlet/girlfriend/friend-with-benefits.
Significance: You want to be sure you're wearing every piece of emotional armor you've got and look extremely hot at the same time when you see him. I have to say, I think this may be the most difficult season. I thought of this one because I found a chink in my armor at church today. My ex was there, which was fine...until I realized that he had invited a young woman and her friend to church as well and I had actually already met her before the service at the church breakfast. She was really sweet and I really have no reason to be freaked out -- but when I realized that he had made a new friend (gasp! how dare he! LOL; besides -- I think they really are in friends status; I don't think she's his new girlfriend...yet), I had a very physical reaction. I instantly got a massive headache and felt sick to my stomach. Enough that I decided I needed to excuse myself from coffee hour right away.

I have to admit, for much of my adult life -- when it came to dating again after a breakup -- I have always wanted to be the one who started dating again first. Which has never happened for me until this last year. And even so -- I always thought that if you were the one who started dating first, then seeing your ex with someone new wouldn't hurt. But I think I was too idealistic. I mean, don't get me wrong -- things are good. I'm good. EP is great. Seattle Crush could be good. I have a lot going on that is great. But the greatness doesn't diminish those lingering feelings of disappointment from all the effort I put into my last relationship.

On the bright side, even if today wasn't the culmination of my personal Season of First-New-Relationship-After-Major-Breakup -- it sure was good practice.